Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better

March 2nd, 2012

Inspired by Mitt Romney’s apparent campaign theme that he would have done everything better than Obama.

 

“The president tells us that without his intervention things in Detroitwould be worse. I believe that without his intervention things there would be better.” –Mitt Romney

 

“I believe it could have been better –much better–under different leadership and different policies. It could have been better if President Obama had not dug the nation $4 trillion deeper in debt… It could have been better if President Obama had embraced pro-growth reform of our outdated, inefficient tax code, rather than insisting on higher taxes on job creators at every turn. It could have been better if President Obama had not increased the costly regulatory burden on American employers, which has held back job growth in Ohioand across the country… It could have been better if President Obama had not slowed or halted responsible American energy production.” – Romney website
 

 

To: President Obama

From: Mitt Romney (paraphrased)

 

Sure, you saved the auto industry,

But I would have saved it better.

Sure, you killed Bin Laden,

But I would have killed him deader.

 

Sure, you lowered taxes,

But I would have lowered them more.

Sure, you created jobs,

But I would have created them before.

 

Sure, you helped the economy recover,

But I would have made it recover stronger.

Sure, you stopped the Iraq War,

But I would have made it last longer.

 

(Okay, so maybe that last one

Isn’t as much of a plus for voters,

But it is to the GOP base,

And to my financial promoters.)

 

Every bad thing that happened

Was all because of you,

And the good things you did,

I would have done too.

 

And if you get a second term,

You’ll get worse and worse,

Whereas with President Romney

It’ll be the reverse.

 

I’ll get better and better

And I’ll do everything right.

With you, our future’s bleak.

With me, it’ll be bright.

 

Unemployment and gas prices will drop,

Growth will magically rise,

And America never again

Will apologize.

 

Iran won’t get a nuke

If the President’s me,

But if you’re reelected they will,

And that I guarantee.

 

This case for my election

May seem a little thin,

But if you don’t overthink it,

Doesn’t it make sense for me to win?

 

In America we’re all about

New and improved,

Which is why I must be President,

And you must be removed.

 

And if America doesn’t like me,

I’ll keep on changing until they do.

That’s why America should elect me:

I can do anything better than you.

***

Here’s your theme song, I Can Do Anything Better than You from the musical Annie Get Your Gun.
 

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Comments

2 Responses to “Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better”

  1. Barbara Says:

    it should have been ankle irons raethr than platinum parachutes with the level of corrupt practices the previous govt performed, not that the current one has changed anything much for the benefit of the people who want create jobs, and help rebuild our once great little nation and get us back into the top 20 OECD nations again.Why is it Holden that you assume right wingers hate science and knowledge? Is it a blanket hatred? Or is it just a hatred of corrupted scientists and their phoney results?Are you basing your knowledge on the bible belt of America and some of those people having a belief in Creationism, and categorising them as right wingers? Would you consider a muslim capitalist a right winger? Their holy book describes embryology and cell structures and all manner of biological science. Is someone who believes in evolution too intelligent to be a right winger? Are all those capitalists who developed every advancement e.g. medicines, treatments, computers, software, fertilisers, efficiency enhancing or problem solving devices etc. and took them to market for the betterment of mankind whilst earning a buck for their efforts, are they all left wingers because they believed in a piece of science or knowledge, and hence they were obviously too bright to be Right winger creationist Neanderthals?

  2. Mouna Says:

    that Romney’s refusal to resaele his tax returns would come back to bite him big time … and it did in the SC Primary.Romney forgot the first rule of politics … the need to be proactive rather than reactive … and now he is left playing catch-up politics .. never a good thing.It is not his wealth that is at issue. He could have turned his success into electoral advantage … ‘We should celebrate success. It is the American dream and give me a chance and I will make you (America) wealthy too’ … or suchlike. He has squandered that chance. He is playing the Washington outsider vs the Washington insider card and how that that will resonate remains to be seen.But I continue to be amazed that the GOP sees Romney and Gingrich as quality candidates. They are to the Republicans much like Goff was to Labour and Peters to National before be jumped/pushed.On current form I fear that Obama will win at a canter.Mike Huckerbee … where are you?

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