AA-dar

September 28th, 2012

Inspired by Rachel’s challenge tonight to come up with a name for Scott Brown’s magical ability to detect race: I call it AA-dar (rhymes with radar; “AA” stands for Affirmative Action).

 

“Prof. Warren claimed that she was a Native American, a person of color, and and as you can see, she’s not. That being said, she checked the box.” – Scott Brown in debate with Elizabeth Warren

 

It’s not just Warren’s race Scott Brown can detect:

He’s also can sense that box that she checked.

That box is a hated symbol of Affirmative Action,

With which Repubs have long shown dissatisfaction.

 

Repubs can sniff out Affirmative Action (or AA)

From many, many miles away.

Scott, apparently, is one such authority:

He can detect any unfair advantage given to a minority.

 

What magical powers of observing

Tell Scott thatWarren is undeserving?

This Republican gift is hard to explain:

It’s just a God-given ability, unearned success to ascertain.

 

Rush Limbaugh has the gift too, in fact he’s the master:

Scott can detect AA fast, but Rush can do it faster.

For example, Rush could tell right away

That Obama got everything he has because of AA.

 

How do they do it? Were they bitten by a spider,

Or fall into a radioactive super-collider?

Actually, this magical power can be learned

If you follow the rules about how success is “earned.”

 

First, if wealth or power is inherited,

Then it’s never, ever unmerited.

Second, it’s OK if someone looks and sounds like you:

Their success makes you think you can succeed too.

 

Third, if a minority shares your views and is on your side,

Then his or her success is justified.

Those are the people for whom success is reserved.

With anyone else, it’s undeserved.

 

And that’s how Scott Brown can infallibly asses

That Elizabeth Warren has unwarranted success.

***

Here’s Rachel’s report. One thing you miss in your story, Rachel, is that it’s not Elizabeth Warren’s claim of Native American heritage that bothers Scott Brown. What really bothers him (or what he pretends bothers him) is the idea that she may have, all evidence to the contrary, unfairly claimed and benefited from that status during her career. Viewed in this way (which is how I believe Brown wants voters to view it), the attack is really no more than Jesse Helms’ infamous “white hands” commercial (watch that below as well), updated for 2012. Will it work on white working classMassachusettsvoters? Let’s hope not.
 

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