A Limited Time Special Offer (or: That $9.99 Pizza Will Be $12.99 When Cain’s “Fair Tax” is Added In)

October 17th, 2011

Inspired by Cain 999 plan: Road to a Fair Tax (CNN Money 10/17/11) and Glenn Kessler’s examination of the oft-ignored fact that Herman Cain’s vaunted 9-9-9 plan is just the temporary second stage in a 3-stage master plan… which happens to raise taxes for most Americans.


New Republican front-runner Herman Cain

Is constantly repeating his 9-9-9 refrain.


“9-9-9” is a nice catch phrase.

Too bad it’s just a temporary second phase.


Mr. Cain, if your 9-9-9 plan’s so great,

Then why in the world would you want to wait?


And why would you want to then erase it

And with a 30% national sales tax replace it?


And is it good to keep changing the tax code back and forth?

What about the certainty about which Repubs so often hold forth?


Your tax reform plan is like $9.99 pizza deals,

The details for which the fine print reveals:


“This offer will not be effective until sometime next year,
Though the exact timing is somewhat unclear.
It will be available for a limited, unspecified time,
After which pizza prices will again climb.
The actual pizza price paid may be significantly higher,
Depending on the income and circumstances of the buyer.”


But one thing Cain’s tax reform is guaranteed to do

Which for each of the three phases remains consistently true:


The more wealth you have and money you make,

The more of a discount you’re permitted to take.


And as each phase is implemented successively,

Cain’s code will raise less revenue, less progressively.


The middle and working classes will get less and pay more,

Somehow that “special offer” doesn’t sound so special any more.


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