September 30th, 2009

Inspired by “The Race to Richmond” and “My (Specific) Promises to Northern Virginia” (Washington Post 9/27/09). In the former, the Post debunks a McDonnell ad that misleadingly cites a Washington Post 7/29/09 editorial as praising McDonnell’s transportation plan. The latter is the candidates’ responses to the Post’s asking them their specific plans to improve the lives of people in Northern Virginia. Those responses were followed by the Post’s request for readers’ endorsements, for which this piece was written — a slightly modified version was submitted, edited for both length (200 word limit) and content (it is after all a family newspaper).

 

Bob, Bob,

You want the governor’s job.

Because you’re the man

With the 19 page plan.

 

You seem so proud of that little confection,

So sure it’ll win you the election.

But all that paper will transport

Is Virginia in the wrong direction.

 

The “12 funding mechanisms” you adore

Won’t replace the new revenue you abhor.

They won’t come close to raising the funds Virginia needs—

For that, take a look at the plan proposed by Deeds.

 

You criticized that plan in a campaign ad,

Cherry-picking a Post editorial to make Deeds look bad.

Sorry to be professorial,

But did you read the whole editorial?

You must not have, because then you’d have understood

That the Post said your plan is no good.

 

Virginia’s roads and bridges are in disrepair,

And you can’t spend money without getting it from somewhere.

It may sound crass,

But that $500 million figure looks like it came out of your a##.

 

You outlined your plan on July 21,

On a parking deck above route 66 in Arlington.

It was a little windy up there that day.

Weren’t you worried your 19 pages would blow away?

 

I know you think your plan is pretty cool,

But I wrote papers longer than that in high school.

Still, it’s better than what you wrote in ’89

(Attracting attention from which must be your design).

 

You trumpet the “forward-looking campaign” you’ve run

(That makes sense, given the things you’ve said and done).

You criticize “others” as “backward-looking” (I wonder who you mean)

As if bringing up your record and writings was obscene.

 

Yes, the anecdotes you relay are terrific,

But your “specific” promises aren’t very specific.

However, there is something you can do for NoVA:

When you vote, be sure it’s for Creigh.

 

Washington Post, you want to know who I would endorse?

Creigh Deeds, of course!

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Comments

2 Responses to “My VA Governor Endorsement”

1. Newsericks » Blog Archive » Clean (?) Sweep in VA Says:
   December 5th, 2009 at 10:01 pm

   [...] I never liked you anyway. [...]

2. Newsericks » Blog Archive » Mirror, Mirror (or, Republican Parallel Universe State of the Union for the “Real America”) Says:
   January 30th, 2010 at 1:36 pm

   [...] Colbert (watch the video below), the GOP plan to simultaneously accomplish all these goals is all of 9 pages of actual content, including pictures and wide margins. To save you the trouble of wading through [...]

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